The Parent Money Trap

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Partial Transcript

[The following is a partial transcript of this episode of The Scott Alan Turner Show. Listen to the full episode to hear this story, listener questions, money hacks, and inspiring stories of people that are changing their financial lives. Subscribe to the free podcast on iTunes or Google Play]

Did you know parents can save kids or save for kids but they can’t do both?

Now this is something I’ve become aware of more as a parent over the last five years. But I started noticing it when we moved into our neighborhood ten years ago. And I see kids driving golf carts that cost twice as much as my car.

You parents are incredibly kind, giving, and generous to your kids. Sometimes it becomes being generous to a fault. An example I gave last week – there are 1,000 ways to pay for college, but only one way to pay for retirement – your income.

Too many parents are giving everything to their kids without thinking about the parent’s well being. The thing is – it’s hurting, not helping those kids. There’s no growth. No challenge. No waiting, learning or respect for money. The bank of mom and dad is open 24-hours. This dependency grows for this infinite ATM – which if you have on of those, call me, I’d like some of your money too. This growing dependency, kills growth. It kills their work ethic, their future relationships, and their emotional growth.

I believe parents who give everything to kids are taking away from them some of the most important things in life.

Suppose some kid calls home from college – ma, I want some meatloaf. The meatloaf! Can you catch the next flight down and make me some meatloaf.

Click. You know you wouldn’t do that, right? Fly down for meatloaf? But that’s what some parents are doing.

Parents should do more parenting, for the parents sake, and the kids. Everyone wins.

I’m not dad of the year over here. I’m fumbling through first time parenthood like every other parent. We were raised plastic spoon kids, not silver spoon kids. The question I ask myself is, how will I not end up with spoiled brats. Everyone wants kids to have it better than what the parents had growing up. The important things are

• The need to be challenged and find their own way
• The learning that comes from making small mistakes early in life, instead of big mistakes later
• The confidence to stand on their own two feet so they can survive on their own and not rely on anyone else

Getting them ready to kick butt in life.

My little boy, he said the neatest thing the other day. He wanted to get the broom out and sweep up the hallway. Ok I said. Then he said to me, Daddy I’m sweeping up so you can have more money. He thought by him working, I would get money. Not exactly. He’s not quite there yet in the whole time for money, but I was a proud dad. He’s putting the pieces together.

Instead of the bumper sticker ‘My kid is an honor roll student at Hogwart’s Academy’. Picture a new bumper sticker – ‘My kid is hiring.’ ‘My kid is an officer.’ ‘My kid hiked Mt. Doom’ ‘My kid is making a difference.’ My kid is a financial rock star. Because you forced them to listen to The Scott Alan Turner show. Thank you for making them listen!

Think about everything you wish your parents had done a little different if they knew how.

• Showed you how to balance a checkbook
• Talked to you about picking a career instead of working a job
• The importance of saving

More parents should be teaching kids how to save instead of trying to constantly save them.

I’m stealing my kids creativity by filling every minute of their day, or handing over the iPad at all hours. That’s not parenting, that’s discount babysitting.

Kids want to be set free and need to be set free. Unless mom or dad is a vampire, they won’t be around forever. So when are these kids going to learn to grow up? Be an adult. Put on their big boy or big girl pants.

• Teach them how to stand.
• Teach them how to walk.
• They’ll figure out how to run.

They will figure it out.

They will fall. They will get bloody. They will cry. We don’t live in a plastic bubble. Best to figure out how a band aid works.

For parents, I want you to make sure you’re giving Thor like power to the next generation. I know you have superpowers. And I know you can show others theirs. If you’re an aunt, uncle, grandparent, mentor, teacher, do the same. Think about some ways you can help kids:

• Helping them master money.
• Learning to improve the mad skills they have already, so they can have more confidence.
• Showing them how to be financially independent so you as parents can be financially independent.

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