Why You SHOULD Keep Up With The Jonases

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[The following is a partial transcript of this episode of The Scott Alan Turner Show. Listen to the full episode to hear this story, listener questions, money hacks, and inspiring stories of people that are changing their financial lives. Subscribe to the free podcast on iTunes or Google Play]

Why you should keep up with the Jonases. Wait a minute, I thought they were broke. Nope, it turns out they are smarter than we thought.

In the first time in the history of personal finance everywhere – all of the personal finance experts are bowing down and applauding the Jonases. We’ve been trying to keep up with them forever, they always seem to have more fun than everyone else. We always believed they were loaded, when in fact the banks owned all their stuff and they were knee deep in debt.

I did say the Jonases, not the Joneses. The Joneses are still broke, as listeners of the Scott Alan Turner show know.

Mr. and Mrs. Jonas however, are quite brilliant.

Over the weekend. Joe Jonas and Game of Thrones actress Sophie Turner got married in a Vegas ceremony officiated by an Elvis impersonator. Congratulations Sophie! She’s my cousin, always a riot at family reunions that girl is.

The couple reportedly exchanged ring pops in lieu of inedible jewelry.

The cost of their wedding was a whopping – wait for it:

$600.

And the candy ring pops, probably $10 in Las Vegas. Remember eating candy as a kid? Maybe you had one of those rings. My daughter had one on a couple weeks ago. I think the Easter bunny brought it when he came out of the ground after 3 days to check on his shadow.

Average cost of a wedding in 2018 – $34,000. The same average price of a new car. The same price as 20% down on a $175,000 house so a person avoids private mortgage insurance.

And yes, there are $175,000 places to live out there. Just not in San Francisco or NYC.

Realize $34,000 is the average. Which means a bunch of people – broke dads, let’s call them, are spending way more than that.

In a world where 50% of all marriages end in divorce, the only thing left are pictures, a wedding dress that doesn’t fit, and a couple rings.

And for all the people who manage to stay married – at the end of their days the only things left are pictures, a wedding dress that doesn’t fit, and a couple rings, right?

• Would you agree a reasonably priced wedding that doesn’t send people into debt, never, ever goes out of style?
• Would you agree a reasonably priced birthday party that doesn’t send people into debt, never, ever goes out of style?
• Would you agree a reasonably priced anniversary or family vacation that doesn’t send people into debt, never, ever goes out of style?

Being broke, like the Joneses. That goes out of style. Their clothes become worn. Their cars rust. They can’t afford to keep up the house. They trade in all that style they’ve worked so hard at impressing people with, for stress, worry, debt, a job they don’t like working with people they can’t stand. Because they get trapped.

You might be thinking – nobody is going to have a wedding for that little and invite guests. Well, my friends did it for $1,000 with guests. I was the best man. BBQ, cake, people, that was a party.

It’s kinda like inviting a bunch of kids to McDonalds for a birthday party, or inviting them over to someone’s house and letting them run around outside in the sprinklers for free and serving up some cake. People get to choose.

Don’t you love this story of the Jonases though? These two are so in love. And they got married in Vegas for $600. That’s something to celebrate. A couple high powered richy riches thumbing their noses at the norm. True rebels! If you’re looking to get married or renew your vows – $600 by Elvis. It’s a good thing knowing anyone getting married can find some sweet spot between $600 and $34,000.

You’re probably thinking Oh, you just wait till your daughter wants to get married Turner. Well actually that’s a long, long time away, in a galaxy far away. She will get exactly what Katie’s dad – the pastor – gave her. inflation adjusted of course.

Or my daughter can spend her own money. I had to chip in for our wedding. Because I’m the world’s greatest catch, just ask my wife.

Probably I’m more like the world’s deadliest catch. Kind of crabby.

Either way, cousin Sophie and Jonas now join the list of iconic celebrities who have tied the knot at the famed Las Vegas venue: Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow, Michael Jordan, Britney Spears, Judy Garland, and more.

Besides crazy Britney, that’s an impressive list of people who did the discount wedding, right? Having fun, saving the big bucks. Getting married by Elvis? I’m all shook up at this.

You see the Joneses are broke. But you must know the wedding of the Jonases is just a great illustration of making a special occasion special because of the occasion and the people, not the price. Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, celebrations. What’s most important? The people? The places? Or the prices?

You got that right – the cake. Don’t skimp on the cake my friends. It doesn’t require mortgaging someone’s retirement to buy a good tasting cake. Like from Costco or Publix. If you get a cake from Walmart – Take it from Jesus – I never even knew you.

Here’s something else from this wedding. Stop and listen. This just came out today. Find your Game of Thrones friends.  Maybe they know about the wedding, maybe not.  But the Elvis impersonator, found the candy wrapper from the rings the couple wore.

And the ring wrapper is up on eBay.

“Joe Jonas ORIGINAL AUTHENTIC REAL WEDDING RING WRAPPER used by him in Las Vegas.”

The bidding, was up to $4k. For a candy wrapper. I know you’ll be sharing that piece of trivia with your Game of Thrones friends today.

So while we have some incredibly wealthy celebrities, keeping things simple, having a fun wedding, for cheap. We also have some real bonehead fans. Who are as you know, just silly, broke, and foolish.

You know why someone would buy a candy wrapper. Clearly so they can brag to their friends that they bought a candy wrapper for $4k.

Can you hear the conversation? Bob, you’re the coolest person in the world. Only you could charge $4k to a credit card and buy a candy wrapper we know you can’t afford. Can I hold it for a minute? Can I hold the candy wrapper?

$4,000 investing in the stock market for 30 years would get you $58,800. Do you think the candy wrapper will ever be worth $58,800? You know the answer to that my friend.

Note to self: Sell candy rings on the show someday. Charge $4,000 a piece. Take many additional vacations.

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