How To Deal With Unsupportive People

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Partial Transcript

[The following is a partial transcript of this episode of The Scott Alan Turner Show. Listen to the full episode to hear this story, listener questions, money hacks, and inspiring stories of people that are changing their financial lives. Subscribe to the free podcast on iTunes or Google Play]

When you choose to change your life, you don’t need anyone else’s approval.

Like a true crazy cat person, I was at a meet up of money nerds before my vacation. I had just met Hailey and we were, in fact, swapping cat pictures on our phones.  Up walks this other guy, Jay. I say ‘hey, I don’t know if you want to get in on this, we’re talking cats.’

Hailey goes on to tell us she is got this side hustle going on, it’s doing well. But then she says how many of her friends and family don’t support her. She loves coming to the meet ups because everyone is a cheerleader for what she is doing. How cool is that?

In life there will be people that will not support you. Maybe they are indifferent. Maybe they don’t care. Maybe they have insecurities. They don’t like the thought of someone else getting ahead. Well, big whoop. Not everyone is going to support you.

• Just like not everyone likes the same hobbies you like.
• Not everyone likes the same food you like.
• Not everyone likes the same TV shows you like.

Oh, someone watches Keeping up with the Kardashians? Well that’s a waste of time. No it’s not. I have to know what’s going on Kim’s life every day. If they want to watch Sportcenter on ESPN and listen to Stephen Smith mindlessly drivel on about basketball, that’s their thing.

Since you’re listening to the Scott Alan Turner Show, you probably don’t support the couch potato lifestyle of living paycheck to paycheck. Or you’re trying to get out of it.

• It’s not someone else’s job to support you NOT being a couch potato. Coach Potato BTW, was made up in the 1970’s by some guy having a phone call and out it came. Impress your friends with that factoid.
• If your friends think you’re a weirdo because you want financial independence before age 65, it’s not your job to convince them you’re the normal one.
• If your family thinks your dumb for the choices to not spend money and get out of debt, it’s not your job to prove how smart you are.

If your co-workers think it’s a bad idea to leave a secure job and go start a cupcake shop, it’s not your job to show them how good your business plan is.

Where you get your fuel for life is from your passions, hopes, and dreams. It’s not from other people. You have a vision of where you’re going. Other people have a vision of their life too.

• You might want to be a landlord. Not everyone wants to be a landlord.
• You might want to travel the world. I can’t even get my mother on plane to visit her grandkids, let alone another country.
• You might want to be debt-free before a certain age. That doesn’t mean someone else is crazy for taking 30 years to pay down their 4% mortgage.

It’s ok when everyone doesn’t support you. Because you know this already, they won’t. Think about it – It’s not their job to, right? Just acknowledge you’re different. And that’s a good thing.

• You save $5 on a lunch using a coupon, you probably won’t get much praise.
• You got a deal at Goodwill on some used books. Probably not going to get 1,000 Instagram likes.
• You didn’t shower for a week to save water and the planet. Good grief, take a bath fool, nobody is going to support your smelly self.

When I decided to stop writing software and speak for a living, I know nobody would have believed in me so I didn’t tell anyone. I had to tell my wife Katie of course. She supported me. Then as things started growing I eventually had to tell people ‘hey, I’m going to host a talk show’. Really? Because you don’t talk Scott. There are people to this day who still don’t get it.

• But I didn’t worry about being a David vs. Goliath. Understand at the time I was a nanoparticle vs. Goliath.
• Being one of 10,000 personal finance writers, having never written anything about money.
• Thinking about how handsome am I going to look in front of the camera.

But I knew there was a need to help people. And the success is shown in the results. Go look at the studio online. This place is incredible. There are no other David’s doing what we’re doing.

Sometimes people talk about doing something but never do it. Or they take forever to do it. Or they just talk about it forever. Think about if you heard someone tell you 138 times how they were going to go on a diet and lose weight. Starting next week. As they insert another slice of pizza into their pie hole. Would you get tired of hearing it? Is that you in some part of your life?

Well, quit talking. Start doing. Then you’ll get some support. None at first, more as you make progress. And the more progress you make, the more the doubters come out, just waiting for you to fail. So they can say ‘I told you so’. You should have a plan to tell them someday ‘I told YOU so’. Look at me now gnashgab.

There’s two things you can do to keep people from raining on your parade.

1. Will you stay away from them as much as you can
2. Or change the way you feel about what they say

Critics are critical people. People who are farther along than you, will not criticize you.

• You have to choose to follow your dreams.
• You have to choose to stand up for what you believe int.
• You have to choose to grow yourself and your money.

Getting back to our story of Hailey. Listen to this – in just a few short months after being a teacher for 10 years, she will leave her ‘secure’ job to do her own thing full-time.

You know people will support you on your journey. You just need to imagine finding those people if you haven’t met them yet. And the people who think you’re crazy will always think you’re crazy. Who cares? What do they know about you? Remember to ignore them. They say potato, you say potato.

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