Hips Don’t Lie. And Neither Do Budgets.

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[The following is a partial transcript of this episode of The Scott Alan Turner Show. Listen to the full episode to hear this story, listener questions, money hacks, and inspiring stories of people that are changing their financial lives. Subscribe to the free podcast on iTunes or Google Play]

Shakira said Hips Don’t Lie. And neither do budgets. But for some reason people do. About secretly liking Shakira. And budgets.

The vast majority of millionaires got to be millionaires by – wait for it – spending less than they earn. If this is a new concept, which is true of anything anyone has ever learned – it was at one time new – when you save money and invest it, the money grows.

But to get to that point requires another concept. Knowing what you make, and what you spend. Easy, right? Doesn’t that make sense? If a person wants to save 20% of their income. They would.

• A) Have to know their income.
• B) Have to multiply that by 20%
• C) Know they are spending just the other 80%. Not 81%. Not 79%. Not 42%.

I have to rant today for a couple reasons. Doing some show research yesterday, I saw another one of these articles on budgeting is for losers. Love the headline! It’s a brilliant piece of marketing.

It’s kinda like the people who say Broccoli stinks, and I’ll give you the secret formula so you never have to eat a fruit and vegetable again, stay healthy, never get wrinkles, never fail a checkup, and live until 120.

Sign me up, right! What person wouldn’t want that?

But it’s wouldn’t be the truth. Or to ignore all political correctness – it would be a lie.

These jokers who say ‘I hate budgets’ are like people trying to lose weight by not writing down anything they eat or what they do for exercise or for how long.

It’s kinda like Bob on the Biggest Loser telling everyone – I hate diets and exercising. All you gotta do to lose weight is never eat anything and sprint on the treadmill 6 hours a day.

I guess that could work. But there is an easier more efficient way where you can still enjoy life and lose weight. Would you agree with that?

NFL athletes have precision nutritionists on staff cooking for them. You’d never find any sports team nowadays without some creating custom meal plans for every athlete on the team. Wouldn’t it be great if they could eat cookies and donuts all week long? Doesn’t happen, right?

Is the front office throwing out random numbers decide how much to charge for a beer? A hotdog? A ticket? Or are they using a budget?

Budgets are pointless one financial pied piper says. Here’s what you should do instead.

Another says ‘I hate budgets’.

As my dad would say, he speak-eth, with a forked tongue.

People say these things so you’ll like them and buy their products. Not because it’s good advice. And you know what, I’ll prove they don’t believe what they say.

Imagine these people sitting around their business tables in the room with the gold foil ceilings. It’s Monday morning. The staff has shown up. Everyone has a coffee. Who has brought the donuts? Where are these donuts from? Walmart someone says. Go clean out your desk says the boss.

What’s the advertising BUDGET for our next product launch?
We just fired Walmart donut boy. What kind of BUDGET do we need to replace him? Salary, bonus, benefits, paid time off, taxes, what amount is that? Or are we just going to charge a random amount of salary to the company credit card?

We’re doing an excellent job of getting our names in the news by saying stupid things like you don’t need a budget, when we run our business with a budget. Everyone loves us because nobody likes a budget so that’s why we say it. We need more office space. How much money is in the BUDGET to lease more space?

You know, this is true. You know I teach you how to think, not what to think. There is a big difference. Sheep get slaughtered. Lemmings fall off a cliff. People will say what the know others want to hear.

Don’t believe for one nano second these jokers don’t run their business without a budget.

And here’s the thing – when you’re uber rich like some of these financial pied pipers are, they don’t need a budget. Hey, we’ve got $1M in the savings account. I don’t need to track my $11 Subway sandwich for lunch.

These financial pied pipers are just like politicians. What’s good enough for them, doesn’t apply to the voters. They have private schools for their kids, but we get public schools and no school choice.
They have their Cadillac health care plans and cut-to-the-front-of-the-line hospital in Washington D.C. You and I have nothing like that.
They fly private jets on the taxpayer’s dime and don’t have to go through the security lines, you and I have to take our shoes off and be zapped like a bug with that body scanner at the airport.

Bzzt!

Hey, if you’ve working the Lazy Person’s Budget outlined on ScottAlanTurner.com or the 50/30/20 plan, congratulations my friend. Those can absolutely work for some people. It’s not as fine grained as a spreadsheet. Remember this – 1/2 of people don’t have 2 nickels to rub together, and part of that is a lack of any education, and a lack of good education. Knowing what you spend and where, gives you at least two nickels.

People will say what they know other people want to hear, to make them feel good about their bad decisions. I will say what you need to hear, and you’ll not only feel good about your good decisions, you’ll have more money. Good deal?

I believe you need to hear the truth, because the truth builds wealth. Feeling good is a PB&J sandwich. But I want you to choose to eat those because you want to, not because you have to.

Feeling don’t pay for things like a house, a vacation, or big financial goals.

Some of us have sworn by a code of truthiness. That’s one of the SAT shows core values.

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